- Introduction
- Greetings Human Earthling!
- What the critics say
- History
- Of the ZFP
- Of Frungy
- Of Frungy in Relation to Galactic Sports
- How To Play
- Official Tournaments and Leagues
- The Galactic League
- The World League
- If You Don't Know These Leagues, You're Not A Hardcore Frungy Fan
- Miscellaneous
- Footnotes
- Mad Propz (thanks and such)
- Copyright Info
- Back to games section
I. Introduction
Fans of Star Control II -- yes, all 8.3 of you -- might remember Frungy. During your encounter with the ZoqFotPik (description below), one of the member races extolled the virtues of Frungy (unless you went postal in front of them, in which case he merely taunts you and they proceed to send wave after wave of their crappy Stinger crafts against you). Throughout the game, one must ask himself, "What is this wonderful sport, Frungy? How is it played? What kind of equipment do you need to play Frungy? I wonder who's ahead in the Frungy Championships?" These questions were purposely left unanswered by the Star Control gurus, because no one can be told what Frungy is... you have to see it for yourself.
That is, unless I am telling you. I have undertaken the effort to try and explain Frungy, at least at a level you can understand. Bear in mind that this is not a deep evaluation of the game, but an overview of its basic rules and its history. You cannot become a Grandmaster Frungy-player simply by reading this; it takes years of experience to absorb the Frungy experience, let alone play it... besides, you don't have the steam valves necessary to manipulate the ball.
But Frungy should never be spoken of! Say what you will, but this is my two cents about Frungy. It is not necessarily the gospel of Frungy; the documentation provided here is loose, especially regarding rules. If you have any beefs with my interpretation of the ZFP's history, tell me and I'll take another look at the FAQ. Also, feel free to post your own FAQs; in fact, I'd be glad to see more FAQs and perspectives about the Sport of Kings.
| ||
| Ah, it is the one from the Chenjesu's Alliance! | ||
| See? I told you he wanted to know about Frungy! | ||
| Augh! If those bloody designers actually had someone EXPLAIN the game... | ||
| Well, excuuuuse me! The nameless and vaguely defined gods don't happen to talior the universe to your needs, you know. And since when did you get an English accent? | ||
| ANYWAY, I find it strange that you humans care about such a silly, pointless sport. It's always cancelling my weekly FunROM broadcast... | ||
| Silly? Pointless? Apparently, you never seen the human game of baseball. They cancel EVERYTHING for that... including the ritual of eating edible food. | ||
| *coughcough wehavetosuckup tothehumans youfool coughcough* | ||
| Oh... uh... I... um... er... I didn't do it! | ||
| *sighs* I can't convince him to stop. I will leave now. *crawls off the bridge as she mutters* Stupid humans and their stupid impetuous fanboy instinct... | ||
| Don't listen to her, captain. She's just into her crappy stuff... like Lifetime FunROMs. *shudders* If I hear about another story about a woman's petal infection, I'm gonna puke! Anyway, I am elated that you are interested in the grand sport of Frungy. You know, most aliens don't seem to GET Frungy. It's a deep sport that requires all of our seven senses and wits to be flexed, and it's really rad. Anyway, enjoy the FAQ. | ||
"Frungy is... fast... paced... excitement... sexual... sweet." - The Earthling Pioneer's scathing positive, unwavering review
"Nobody can know what Frungy is. You have to see it for yourself." - A lame parody of the Matrix on SNL
"Frungy wa su-go-i! TSUBABABABABA!" - The Depths of Insanity
"*smelling* Frungy *pretty squirt* is *squishy* *party* in *heavy space*! I am clear! You are not *silly*!" - Orz
"It's the best game ever, and if you disagree with me, you're the anti-Christ. ph33r!!!" - Some lamer in an AOL chatroom.
"This is the polar opposite of 24 hours of Spice Girls music. It's that good." - Me
"My fibres seethe with the memories of my ancestry... oh, Frungy? It rocks." - Mycon
"WHY HAVE YOU INTERRUPTED THE PROCESS!!!???"
"RELAX BZZM, IT IS A MATTER OF GREAT IMPORTANCE. IT IS FRUNGY."
"IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER?" - Chmmr
Your review could be here too! Just submit it and I'll put it up ASAP.
II. HistoryA. Of the ZoqFotPik
[I think it would be best to look at The Star Control Saga for information regarding this race, because I cannot explain it better.]
B. Of Frungy
The origins of Frungy are quite vague. The first reason for this is the peculiar history of the ZoqFotPik; the scattered, disorganized nature of the three races makes it hard to tell which rules went into effect and which fizzled out over the years, or even the degree of the sport's popularity among the three races. Combined with the lack of a written language throughout the Zebranky Period (from some unknown time in the past until approximately 6,500-7,000 earth-years ago) and throughout most of their Neolithic Age (which lasted for 5,000 years until a strange coincidence urged them to acquire culture), the history of the ZoqFotPik is mostly unknown. The second reason is a lack of a solid resolution on the rules of the game; whenever it was developed, it came about in many places simultaneously, although each clan abided by a different set of rules. The sport undergoes major overhauls once in an erratic time period; sometimes, rules will last for centuries, and other rules will be terminated in the middle of a game, only to be replaced by new rules DURING the engagement. The latter is a far more common case than the former, and sometimes a rule lasts for less than one game. Finally, ZoqFotPik culture is slowly assimilating itself into the culture of the League, and as a result, their past is clouded by commercialism. A few of the blues (the fungal lifeform on the right) have considered writing a book about the game, but like most of the ZoqFotPik, they prefer to kick back in the forest. It was around the year 2212, when League scholars began to compile a new edition of the Encyclopedia Galactica, that a few researchers conferred with the ZoqFotPik in order to actually understand the game. The information presented here conforms to that analysis, although it will be significantly different when this is published, and was different when we first met the ZoqFotPik.
It is commonly believed that Frungy was developed during the late Zebranky period, probably some time around 10,000 years ago. This was the turning point of the fight against the Zebranky, when the three species learned to manipulate tools with greater efficiency than the Zebranky. All three had sufficient brains to understand basic relationships within their clans, especially the various hunter roles, which the Zebranky could not master (at least not in any efficient manner). However, spreading those relationships proved to be quite a problem; the physical barriers between the three species were simply too large to be crossed with a spoken language, and all three species lacked a readily available means to create a written language. A far more fundamental tool was necessary to stress the roles of each race, to emphasize their strengths and weaknesses, and ultimately, to teach teamwork. Hence, Frungy.
The first Frungy players did not have a name for this sport; rather, it was simply "the Sport", one of the few in the history of the three races. They played simply to hone their skills; choosing positions and beating around a ball with considerable accuracy. The goal was ill-defined; one poor brown bore the brunt of a blue's vicious attack, believing killing to be the point of the game! Because of numerous incidents like this, a loose set of "rules" developed, which prohibited extreme violence and sneaky tricks, such as unexpected raids and invasions of the Planet Eaters. These rules also took into account the actions of the predatory Zebranky; namely, by compelling the three races to use their gear to beat the Zebranky to a bloody pulp, whereby they would receive extreme rewards and most likely win the game. Once the Zebranky were eradicated, rules began to tone down, and the second phase of Frungy emphasized interactions between the three species.
The Second Phase persisted throughout the Neolithic Era and lasted until the ZoqFotPik reached their Atomic Age. During this era, development was rampant. During the first 5,000 years, the regulations changed dramatically; once, the methods of scoring points were completely overhauled three times in one game. The alterations surely kept the players on their toes, and that match is remembered very fondly by hardcore Frungy fans (and confuses just about everyone else). It goes hand-in-hand with the union's makeshift tactics for everything, especially combat; the bravest warriors had no idea what they were doing against a slavering Zebranky or Kohr-Ah Marauder. Usually, this tactic would end in vain, but the combat instincts of a ZoqFotPik team are considerably effective against known enemies. In the face of the Kohr-Ah, it failed miserably. By the end of this Phase, the sport had grown considerably.
The Third Phase, which has lasted since their Space Age (or, roughly 100 years), is far more susceptible to commercialism. While change is not as rampant as it was during the Second Phase, a complete overhaul still takes place over a period of 17 earth-months, allowing for many new sales of equipment and -- most importantly to commercial interests -- FunROMs. FunROM sales are one of the few reasons the ZoqFotPik maintain a healthy galactic relationship with the other races of the League. Most aliens are baffled as they begin to grasp Frungy, only to be astounded by a completely new ruleset that makes even less sense. Hardcore fans are still as zealous as ever, appreciating Frungy as the cornerstone of ZoqForPik society (although this point, like almost everything else about their history, is contented by naysayers). What is definite of Frungy is its appeal to the young and gullible; not necessarily because the sport requires any degree of skill, but because it is heavily commercialized and Hyperwave Ads are inundated with its presence and attachment to various pieces of merchandise.
During all three phases, the core of Frungy has always maintained; to stress the relationship of the three species and to explore battle tactics. In every variant of Frungy, the players assume the roles of historic warriors, re-enacting various conflicts. In most cases, the battles simulate a routine hunting of a Zebranky, although recent variants simulate other battles, such as an encounter with a Slylandro Probe or a Kohr-ah Marauder. In a few cases, ZoqFotPik will assume the roles of other races, such as the Chenjesu, Earthlings, or Spathi. Depending on the identities assumed, the rules of engagement differ; for example, in the Kohr-Ah scenario (developed and removed in March 2167), one team plays the role of the Kohr-Ah, and tries to maintain the cohesion of their "ship" against the onslaught of the other team(s).
Almost all variants of Frungy bear little resemblance to Earthling, Shofixti, or Yehat sports, which seem to be the predominant forms of sporting. There is not a very enhanced sense of territoriality, nor is the sport centered around brute strength and little strategy. Rather, the sport requires accuracy, planning, and communication. It is hard to define the basis of Frungy, but it were to be described as anything, it would have to be a fusion of the Earthling sports of Soccer and Baseball/Blernsball(1), mental games involving role-playing and puzzle-solving, and a Rubik's Cube with constantly changing edges.
C. Of Frungy in Relation to Galactic Sports
Frungy is unique among Galactic sports in that it is the only sport that permits and endorses extensive role-playing. Most Earthling sports -- especially those created past the 21st Earth Century -- worked towards eliminating what little personality was left in their sports, and instead replacing them with lifeless statistics; this is especiacially apparent in Baseball/Blernsball of the Earthling culture. Most sports do not involve a high degree of any sort of fantasy, believing it to be incompatible with the nationalism/clan loyalty/commercialism/whatever that permeated Galactic Sports.
To call Frungy the 23rd-century equivalent of Earthling Baseball -- another heavily commercialized sport -- would be inaccurate; although they appeal to the same demographic (very young and very old patriotic people willing to pay 5x inflated prices for basic food), the nature of these sports is very different. In Baseball, the core of the game is statistical analysis, mixed with a bit (or should I say, a lot) of patriotism to give each side some bias; in Frungy, there is a whole bunch of chaos, mixed with a whole mess of patriotism, and it achieves it's end better because of that.
Frungy has stuck out like a sore thumb in the world of Galactic Sports, with its emphasis on role-playing; it gives a quality that normal sports lack. Hardcore sports fans have shunned the sport, considering "those blathering toadies to be unworthy of our attention". When the Melnorme stumbled upon their planet and began the sale of FunROMs throughout the League Quadrant, the sport has garnered quite a following among the youth of the Galaxy, and is broadcast on HyperWave almost every Sunday at 8:00 PM, conveniently cancelling the only good stuff on TV (such as the Mass Hypnosis Hour). Combined with a ruthless marketing campaign and an animated cartoon show as insidious as Pokémon, it should not surprise anyone that Frungy has a large following.
All official Frungy tournaments are held at Alpha Tucanae I; other hospitable planets hold exhibition games. The most common spots for exhibition games are Sol III (Earth), Betelgeuse II (Gaia/Syreen Homeworld), Beta Orionis I (Umgah Homeworld), Zeta Persei I (Crimson Corporation HQ, which acquired special rights to hold the exhibitions through a complex legal procedure involving a Dnyarri), and Beta Aquarii II (Fahz/Utwig Homeworld). People from across the galaxy gather to watch these games; however, because of the difficulties of traveling from afar and finding conditioned places on some worlds, most people have to be content with HyperWave broadcasts.
III. How to Play
Since the rules constantly change, this will have to remain a mystery. Generally, play involves two teams bouncing some bouncable object to and fro. There are a large number of variants to play, therefore allowing a whole mess of FunROM sales.
IV. Official Tournaments and Leagues
A. The Galactic League
The Galactic League is centered at Alpha Tucanae I. Its games are played weekly and broadcast every Sunday at around 8:00 PM Greenwich Mean Time (for Earth, anyway) on the recently-acquired Channel 44. Teams may come from any place in the galaxy as long as they fit the requirements; of the few that do, none have any desire nor the experience to play.
The Galactic League is, quite obviously, the biggest known Frungy league, with over 260 teams currently active. Little can be divined about its structure, other than that it is somewhat corporate in nature. Championships are held at unspecified periods of time, and involve the top 16 teams going against each other in a series of challenges; all championships use the basic, normal Frungy scenario.
B. The World League
The World League is a step below of the Galactic League in funding and popularity, and is entirely confined to Alpha Tucanae I. However, the game is played with the same ferocity, and perhaps moreso since the players aren't heavily swayed by advertisement deals and other Druuge-like tactics. There are no championships per se; rather, teams are slowly eliminated through a round robin tournament, with the last team standing gaining the trophy. Teams are eliminated if their victory record cannot meet "par", or a percentage of wins that increases as time passes. Par starts at 25% for the first month, and increases discretely by 1.3-2.05% every week. Teams usually begin to falter at the 55% mark, with only the best attaining 70% victory. Obviously, when competition is reduced to two teams, the end is nigh. A team usually plays 140-180 games.
C. If You Don't Know These Leagues, You're Not A Hardcore Frungy Fan
Various leagues form beneath the World and Galactic League, and also cater to some of the stranger desires of hardcore fans. The Demon League is a grueling set of teams willing to breathe Frungy all day to make it to the big times, and the games take place in smaller arenas and with less time. Frungy Club is something you cannot understand, because you do NOT talk about Frungy Club. You don't want to know about the Horny League.
V. Miscellaneous
A. Footnotes (AIIIE! FOOTNOTE THIEF!!)
(1): During the time Earth was slave-shielded by the Ur-Quan, a variant of Baseball called Blernsball erupted on the scene, and became an instant success. You might remember it from Futurama... who says that Fr and SC aren't compatible? Huh?
B. Mad Propz (we only need a LITTLE!)
Mad Propz shall be divined to the following...
The Pages of Now and Forever -- the biggest Star Control site out there. You already know about this place, don't you?
Froborr, for introducing me to SC2 and slapping me with a large trout when necessary.
Fred Ford and Paul Reiche III, for creating the Star Control universe (oh yeah, and everyone else who made it).
Star Trek, for creating a large amount of technoblah and pedantic socialist moralism to parody.
and everyone who cares to read this.
C. FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE THE DILL-RATS (i.e., copyright info)
Star Control SHOULD be the property of Toys For Bob, but is caught in a legal mess with the evil Accolade Hierarchy. Screw Accolade. This document is copyright (c) 1999-forever by me, myself, and my multiple personalities. You may duplicate this document so long as credit is given to the original owner. All copyrights and trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Have a nice day.
~finis